yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
