wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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