Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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