So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
