This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
