rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i love accidental penises.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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