You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
