So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
