You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
