he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
