JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
