I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
