that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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