i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
