I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
