just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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