But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
