drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize