I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
