He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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