Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize