I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
