All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
