This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize