I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
4 words: hood of his car
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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