i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
