I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
