Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
