he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
