wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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