I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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