Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize