He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize