She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize