just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
