Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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