His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize