Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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