Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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