i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
