He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
