If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
