i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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