My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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