With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
