Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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