either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
