Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
