There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
