The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
