I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
