I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize