i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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