it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
