I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
