end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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