didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
