Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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