Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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