NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
