it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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