Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
