Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
