i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
