you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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