She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
last night I used snow as a chaser
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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