i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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