I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
