Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
